channeling tony pierce

Hello, Tony, this is Howard.

Howard? Howard who?

You know, Tony, your friend, Howard. I have a blog. I must have shown up on
your referral links at least once.

doesn’t ring a bell.

You even linked to me once.

oh, that Howard. hey, is this going to take long? i’m
having a spat with Ashley and i need to type some more noxious venom.

Well, I just have one question, Tony.

sure, what is it?

Can I star in a post on your bus blog?


I know I’m not as cute as Moxie, but since I’ve been doing this Atkins
thing, I’m almost as skinny.


You can even quote me without using the shift key.



because i’m going to write something about the hot young beauty who is
going to go see No Doubt with me.

Maybe I’m more interesting than the xbi.

nobody is more interesting than the xbi, except maybe Ashley, but she’s
not that interesting to me right now.

You’re on my blog roll.

thank you, but you can’t even spell bollocks.

So I’m an idiot, at least
I told the Times they should hire you.

i already thanked you for that. don’t you read your comments?


so, you’ve been thanked.

I bought your book.

but none of your readers have bought my book. you haven’t even told them
about it.

So, if I tell my readers to buy your book, you’ll make me the star of one of
your posts — maybe put me in the middle of some xbi adventure?



ok. get 10 of your readers to buy my book, and then i’ll make you the star of a bus
blog post.

10? I don’t think I even have 10 readers. How about 5?

ok. five.

How about 3?


OK. Five.

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